


fireside

by canimo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, and remus mentions death, brief mentions of sirius's abuse at grimmauld place, but its not too bad, mental and physical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 23:13:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11633931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canimo/pseuds/canimo
Summary: Sirius finds out he isn't the only one with bad dreams.





	fireside

**Author's Note:**

> this kind of started as an idea to do a one shot for relationships and friendships i wished rowling had explored more in the hp series, and of course i was going to write remus & sirius first. i might make a series out of it??? idk i'll keep u posted
> 
> ALSO i love constructed criticism like please, if you have any id really love to hear it.
> 
> disclaimer - jk rowling owns the harry potter series, not me

After Sirius left Grimmauld Place, he thought the nightmares and fear would stop. He thought he'd be able to sleep soundly knowing that he'd never go back, that he'd never be hit again, that he was free to say what he wanted without fear of repercussions. But the nightmares continued, well into his sixth year. At the end of every dream he was inevitably back at Grimmauld Place, trapped forever with no escape. 

Sometimes, it was enough to just sit in his bed and listen to his friends. Hear Peter's snores, James's unintelligible murmuring, and Remus's soft breathing and know that they'd never let him be dragged back into that awful house. 

Most of the time, it wasn't enough. On one mid-December night, it wasn't enough. 

Sirius quietly got out of his bed, heart still racing but slowly calming down. He winced at the creaks the floor made, and glanced around to make sure his friends were still asleep. He could hear Peter's snores, and saw James drooling through the gap in his curtains, but when he turned to Remus's bed it was empty, sheets wrinkled and thrown aside. 

Sirius glanced at the watch on his nightstand. It read two o'clock. It wasn’t like Remus to go down to the kitchens late at night, that was normally what Peter and James did. 

Sirius left the dorm room, going down the cold stone stairs to the common room. A fire was still burning, but it was much smaller than earlier that evening. Someone with a curly mop of hair sat on the ground next to the fire, ripping up parchment and throwing it into the fire as kindling. Sirius crossed the room and sat across from him. 

"You know, there's a perfectly good couch right over there," Sirius said, smirking slightly. He pointed at the squashy couch only a few feet away. "A couple armchairs too." 

"Is there?" Remus replied drily. It was only a few days after the full moon, and Remus was prone to sarcastic responses and irritability in those days. Sirius loved it. "I tried sitting on the couch and throwing the parchment in but I kept missing." 

"Pity," Sirius said. "I know you really wanted to try out for Chaser, I guess you'll have to keep practicing." 

Remus smiled a bit. He threw a ball of paper at Sirius, who laughed and caught it. "Git. You know I wanted Beater." 

"Trying to usurp me?" 

"Mmm. Maybe trying to get closer to you." 

Remus winked at Sirius in an uncharacteristic display of flirting, even if it was pretend. His lips lifted into a smirk and his freckles crinkled up by his eyes. Try as he might, he still looked too cute, not quite sexy enough to pull off the line completely. Nevertheless, Sirius's heart stuttered and a warmth unrelated to the fire next to him spread through his body. 

"What are you doing up this late?" Sirius asked in a feeble attempt to distract himself. 

Remus's smile fell, and he let his face became tired. Sirius noticed he did this during the day as well, when he thought no one was watching. "Had a nightmare. Sometimes happens after the full moon, when I've slept long enough to recover." He paused for a moment, then said, "I killed Peter. In the dream. I was the wolf, physically, and I didn't have control of my actions, but I was aware. Human me knew what was happening." 

Remus stared into the fire. He looked too old to be sixteen. There were dark circles under his eyes, accentuated by the bags. Sirius could see a few gray hairs in Remus's curls, and scars peeked out from under his baggy Beatles t-shirt. There was a bad scar across his cheek, old and faded now, but Sirius could tell it had once been red and raised. 

Carefully, Sirius placed a hand on Remus's shoulder. Remus flinched but didn't pull away like he had in second year, when they confronted him about being a werewolf. Softly, gentler than he usually was, Sirius said, "That won't happen. We won't let that happen." 

Remus shook his head. "You don't know that." He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. A few moments later, he said, "Sometimes I regret letting you become Animagi." 

"You didn't let us do anything," Sirius retorted. He sounded angry, even to his own ears, but he couldn't help it. "We would've done it anyway. We're going to help you in every way we can, whether you like it or not." 

Remus nodded, but Sirius knew he didn't agree, he just didn't want to fight about it anymore. After a moment, he looked at Sirius and asked, "Did you have a nightmare?" 

Sirius drew back his hand and stared into the flames, avoiding Remus's eyes. "Yes," he said curtly, feeling a mix of shame and fear creeping up on him. His dreams weren't something he liked discussing. His fear was just another reminder that he wasn't as strong or as brave as he liked to believe. 

He must've been easy to read, because Remus replied, "It's okay to be afraid of them, Sirius." His voice was gentle but strong; it was the same tone he used when James had lost a fight or when Peter had failed a test. "They're terrible people who did terrible things. You can be afraid." 

Sirius was silent for a moment. He let Remus's words wash over him, calm him down. He met Remus's eyes, and felt that familiar prickle of shame when he saw the pity. He squashed it down, because Remus had opened up to him, and so he would do the same. 

"I was stuck there, at Grimmauld Place. They kept telling me they'd find you and James and Peter, and tell you I was tired of being your friend." 

"They won't take you back," Remus said firmly. "I won't let them." 

Sirius found it in himself to smile. "You're a bit scrawny, Moony, I think Kreacher could take you." 

Remus glared at Sirius, but his lips were turned up at the corners. Sirius's heart skipped a beat at that smile, as it always did. "I seem to remember being the only one in our class to get an O on the last Defense essay." 

"What will you do, read it to him and bore him to death?" 

Remus chuckled and punched Sirius's arm lightly. Sirius grinned back at him and let a comfortable silence wash over the two of them. Remus had a funny way of quieting Sirius down. James always said Lily made him panic, made him draw attention to himself in ridiculous ways. Sirius found it was the opposite with Remus. Remus saw Sirius's public image every day, he knew that Sirius intimately. It was the Sirius out of the limelight that caught Remus's eye. 

Remus stood up all of a sudden, groaning when his still-sore muscles stretched out. "The house-elves will be up soon. I wouldn't mind saying hello, but the last time I tried they got very upset. Seemed to think being seen was improper." Remus held out a hand to help Sirius up. 

Sirius accepted it, trying to commit the feel of his palm to memory. "We'll have to stop by the kitchens tomorrow, then. To say hello," he said. 

Remus smiled broadly at that. It was the kind of beautiful, joyful smile Remus didn't use very often, and Sirius drank it up. 

Without another word, they went up to the dorm room, slipped inside quietly. They caught each other's eyes as they climbed back into their beds, and then Remus drew the curtain shut, and that was the end of that. 

The next day, Remus and Sirius, joined by a rather bemused James and Peter, ate an early breakfast in the kitchens. They said hello to the house elves, who said hello back and weren’t at all upset.


End file.
